This site is passionately dedicated to you, Edward Bonderenka. You have a dumb, dumb name.
Let this also be a warning to you -- stupidity gravitates towards stupidity. You have a dumb name, thus you are all the more likely to do dumb things. Below are some examples of others with the name "Edward Bonderenka" that we've seen in action.
What makes your name just so stupid? Let us count the ways:
Edward was actually Adolf Hitler's birth name.
Statistically, boys with the name Edward have a 73% greater chance of getting beat up at school by other boys.
Bonderenka sounds the same as the Mandarin Chinese for the phrase "garbage monkey".
Edward rhymes with "scredward", which just sounds stupid.
Edward is difficult to spell phonetically.
In many offices in the U.S. and Great Britain, "bonderenka" is slang for "pointless" or "waste of time". "I have a bonderenka report to write." (Alternatively: "How was the meeting, you ask? Let's just say it was catered by bonderenka.")
Edward is an expletive among many rednecks. I.E., "That's a load of edward."
Bozo the Clown, in choosing his name, almost opted for Edward Bonderenka the Clown, but wisely chose something less offensive.
The medical procedure known as a bonderenkaectomy is a type of lobotomy.
Sign language for "Edward Bonderenka" is the extended middle finger, the hand rotating at the wrist while pointing at the head.
The body piercing known simply as a "Edward" involves drill bits and a soldering iron.
There are no Mensa members with the name Edward Bonderenka. I mean, obviously.
Edward Bonderenka sounds remarkably close to the Farsi for "plays with excrement."
In the last 50 years, there have been more bankruptcies filed under the name Edward Bonderenka than have been filed by all Amway members.
The boy on the playground that told me about the birds and the bees was named Edward Bonderenka. And man, he was WAY off.
Ask most bartenders for a "Edward Bonderenka", and they'll tell you they're not "that" kind of bar.
Directors who want to remain anonymous after creating a terrible film are credited simply as Mr./Mrs. Bonderenka.
Every member of the 1980s band The Edward Bonderenkas has been arrested -- on separate occasions -- for assaulting an elderly person.
Michael Moore credits a certain Edward Bonderenka for his/her fashion and grooming advice.
The Big Tobacco executive who first thought of targeting children for future cigarette sales was named Bonderenka Edward. No, not exactly your name, but pretty close.
This is our intervention, Edward. You can legally get your name changed, and, frankly, we hope you do. Not just for yourself, but for the betterment of humanity.
Your friends have dumb names, too. Generate the link here:
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